You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
