i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
