Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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