is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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