Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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