I'm gonna have a badass scar
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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