And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize