He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
