so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
