You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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