Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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