i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
be right there i have to get my cape
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
