Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
