you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i would punch a child for taco bell
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Boobs are out for the taking
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
