How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
