I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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