No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
