yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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