Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
