yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize