i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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