Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
