i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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