I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
two words: eviction party
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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