Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity