I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on