I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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