I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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