The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
