at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
