Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
