Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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