oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
