she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
