Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
