The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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