At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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