did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
