At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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