He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
