I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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