I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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