I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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