I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
