He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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