Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
