The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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