I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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