We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
