I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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