Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize