Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
