i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize