I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
