Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
