She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wish I only lived at night.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
