I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.