Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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