if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
